No More Pretending
by NALEY23alwaysforever
Summary: Ava and Connor, Post Season 3 Finale. Connor gets some advice from someone who knows what it's like to lose someone you care for. A short story, for the birthday girl Chloe x (OC character is Ava)


**A/N: This one's for chloe. Happy birthday x**

' _You bastard'._

Her words kept ringing in his head, torturing him. He had made the right decision. Hadn't he? He couldn't pass up this opportunity, she wouldn't.

Why did her words bother him so much? Why did she look upset when he told her about the offer?

"You look like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders." Connor looks up as Jay sits down across from at the table at Molly's, taking a sip of his beer "Let me guess, women troubles?"

"Am I that transparent?" Connor scoffs.

Jay shakes his head "Nah, I just know what it's like."

Connor gave him a sympathetic smile, not knowing what else to do. He hadn't known her that well, but you didn't need to know Erin Lindsay to see just how in love she was with Jay Halstead. And you didn't need to know Jay Halstead to see the evident heartbreak that his eyes held ever since the night she left Chicago.

"So? Tell me the story." Jay says.

Connor looks at him surprised "You really want to hear about the issues in my love life? Surely you have better things to do."

"My brother is going to propose to Natalie tonight with the ring that I was going to give the love of my life, before she moved to New York without a goodbye. Safe to say I could really use a distraction." Jay answers taking another big sip of his drink.

Connor nods, putting down his drink "You know Ava?"

"Ah, of course it's Ava." Jay chuckles.

Connor rolls his eyes, ignoring the comment but continuing to explain their brief history; Their initial meeting and the tension he instantly felt between them, the way they always argued on cases but both knew they held a deep respect for one another, their stubborness in those cases and the way they refused to back down, Their kiss and the morning that followed, his talk with Ava's mentor, taking the blame for Ava during her mess-up in surgery, Ava letting him comfort her, and finally him leaving her at the hospital earlier tonight.

"So, why didn't you talk to her about it? I mean, clearly she's upset with you."

"Is she though?" Connor says skeptically "She said she would do the same if she was in my position … Maybe she's just mad that I got the job offer instead of her."

"You two aren't even in a relationship, and for her to have that kind of a reaction about you leaving? It doesn't feel like it's just about the job offer." Jay says with a shrug.

"I don't know …" Connor says defeatedly.

Jay sighs "Look man, take it from someone who _literally_ lost the love of his life because he was too worried about the _what if_? I'm not saying she's 'the one', but clearly you care for her, and she seems to feel the same way. Just take the leap. Don't have any regrets about it, because let me tell you, they'll eat at you every day of your life."

Jay's voice is void of any emotion by that point, and Connor can truly see just how damaged Jay still is, despite Erin having been gone for six months now. He's the depiction of a man who has a lifetime of regrets weighing him down; someone who wishes he could change things, but knows he can't.

"You're right." Connor says, standing from the stool "I'll see you later."

Jay smiles "Good luck man."

* * *

Ava leaned against the balcony railing of her apartment, drink in hand, staring out at the city of Chicago. She still couldn't believe Connor was leaving Med. She couldn't understand why he was doing this.

What was more confusing, was that she couldn't understand why she was so upset by the news. Had she really called him a bastard? She couldn't remember the last time she had ever felt this mad, and she was always mad with Connor Rhodes.

That's just how they were, two extremely competitive people who were invested so deeply in their patient's and their own methods of how to treat them, that they were constantly butting heads. But they also had a spark, an insanely strong pull between the two of them that she was finding harder and harder to ignore the more she spent time with him.

The knock on the door broke her thoughts, curious as to who would be at her apartment at 9:30pm. Ava walked through the living room as the knocking escalated, and she let out an annoyed groan.

"Calm down, I'm coming!" She griped as she opened the door "What the hell do-"

"Hey." Connor says cutting her off, rushing into her house.

"Come on in." Ava muttered sarcastically.

Connor turned to face her "Look, can we talk? I'm sorry about earlier, that wasn't how I imagined telling you."

"It's fine."

"But it's not." Connor shook his head "We keep acting like we don't care about each other, like this is just some professional relationship, but you and I both know it's know it's not."

"Connor…"

Connor takes a step forward, one hand resting against her cheek as the other wraps around her waist. She leans into his touch, savouring the moment.

"I care about you. So much." He whispers "Can you honestly say you don't feel the same way?"

Ava shook her head "We can't-"

He cut her off once more, pressing his lips against hers. Ava stood shocked for a moment, before her body responded to his. She brought her hands up to comb through his hair as he pulled her as close to him as he could.

They pulled apart after a few moments, both desperately needing to catch their breaths "Wow." Ava mumbled against his lips.

Connor smiled "I care about you Ava, I can't keep pretending I don't. Like you're just another colleague. I don't want to leave, thinking that you hate me for doing so."

"I care about you too." she says "And I don't hate you. I was just hurt. I was mad about the surgery, and our rivalry for the attending position, and then you said you got the Mayo Clinic. I just … It felt like everything we were feeling for one another was overshadowed by our work. Like we could never truly have something because of it."

"Well, if I go to the Mayo Clinic, we wouldn't have to worry about that. Our jobs wouldn't interfere anymore, because we wouldn't be competing."

"I don't want you to leave though. As much as we argue, you and I work well together. We're a team." Ava gives him a small smile "So, where do we go from here?"

"I don't know. But I do know, that I don't want to go back to the way things were. I'm tired of hiding my feelings." Connor says, holding her tighter.

Ava smiles wider at the gesture "I don't want to lose you either." She leans in and gives him a quick peck.

"... What do you say we go out for dinner? We can get to know each other, outside of work."

"That sounds nice." Ava says shyly, feeling slightly odd about this new development in their partnership "When were you thinking?"

Connor shrugs "No time like the present."

"It's almost 10 o'clock at night!" Ava chuckles "Where would we go?"

"Well, either we go out there, or stay in here. And if we stay here-"

"Okay mister, slow your roll." Connor looks at her funnily, still not used to her quirky phrases. "Let's go."

They pull apart and Ava takes his hand, Connor leaning in to kiss her as they walk out the door. He smiles to himself, feeling her hand in his, a sense of contentment settling over him. They didn't know what was ahead, in their jobs or their relationship, but he knew he had never been happier than in this moment.

He took a risk, and regardless of what the future holds, he would never regret his choice.

 **A/N: So the ending feels a bit lame, but I haven't written in a while. Hope you guys like my first Chicago Med fic!**

 **Maddie :)**


End file.
